


Desert Flower

by TheCopyMistress



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gaara is a soft boi, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of it, Sakura needs help, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, did I mention there's angst, sex as a coping mechanism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-24 00:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17091008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCopyMistress/pseuds/TheCopyMistress
Summary: After losing one of her precious people, Sakura turns cold. Under the warmth of the desert sun, she looks to find herself once again.Sometimes, you need to leave behind what you love most in order to love at all. (Previously a Tumblr exclusive)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my Discord wives for always being my hypewomen. I couldn't have pushed as much of this story out as I did without you all.
> 
> The chapters here are kinda short, as they were originally just meant to be posted on Tumblr. There are time skips between each chapter. Should be obvious enough (hopefully).

Sakura saw him go down out of the corner of her eye. Unable to disengage from the barrage of rogues charging at her from all sides, she lifted her fist and drove it into the ground with a shout, rocking the earth and swallowing several of the ninja closest to her. From there, she picked off the remaining attackers one by one, uncaring of the mess she made of their bodies. The crackle of lightning echoed around her as Kakashi charged through the fray, and she heard Naruto shout—several Narutos shout—as a sea of orange-clad clones appeared, one of them grabbing her and carrying her away from the rubble towards their teammate. She let him haul her away, knowing he could reach the others faster than she could on her own. The sight she was greeted with had her stomach churning with dread. 

The sweat caked on her skin felt cold as she rushed forwards, falling on her hands and knees next to her teammates. Kakashi’s hands were shoved into Sasuke’s torso in a futile attempt to staunch the blood flow, painting crimson sleeves up to his elbows. Sakura had never seen such a look of desperation on her sensei’s face before.

“Sakura,” his eyes bolting from side to side, looking out for more enemies. “Sakura, I can’t— Sakura, HELP HIM!” She pulled off her black leather gloves, hands glowing green as she reached forward to push healing chakra into Sasuke’s wound. 

“Remove your hands slowly, I’ll follow your movements.” Thankfully, Kakashi had removed his gloves before deciding to embed himself within Sasuke’s chest, making Sakura’s job a hell of a lot easier… Or so she thought. The blood kept coming, no matter how many organs and arteries she knit back together. “There must be something, some kind of anticoagulant, i-it won’t stop…  How do I…” A violent cough wracked Sasuke’s body, interrupting her fractured thinking and staining his lips scarlet. Each inhale was stuttered and wet, the fluid beginning to make its way into his lungs. She forced more chakra into him, releasing her Byakugou seal. “Where is it coming from?!” Her own heart beat violently, desperate and frightened.

“Sakura…” Another cough, gargled and sticky.

“Shut the fuck up, Sasuke, I’m trying to save your life.” More, more, she needed  _ more _ . “Naruto! I need help!” 

“Thank you, Sakura…” He reached up toward her face and stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers, leaving red streaks that dripped down her chin. She could taste it on her tongue as she wet her chapped lips, which only burned more as she panted with growing exhaustion.

“I swear to the gods, if you die, I’m going to bring you back to life so I can kill you again, Uchiha!” The edges of the black stripes spiralling down her arms began to fray at the edges. “NARUTO!” She felt a hand on her shoulder and opened her chakra network, but instead it attempted to pull her away, tightening its grip as she fought against it.

The bands that criss-crossed against her pale skin began to recede, snaking back to the seal on her forehead. Her hands matched Kakashi’s now, scarlet and shaking uncontrollably.

"Sakura..." Naruto's voice was rougher than usual, and it tugged at the small amount of restraint she was holding onto. "It's over... You tried..."

She turned on him then, ripping her hands out of Sasuke and backing Naruto across the clearing as she moved closer. "Bullshit! You wouldn't help me! I needed you... HE needed you! You let him die!" 

"Sakura!" Kakashi's voice rang clear, tearing her attention away from Naruto. "That's enough!" 

She spun around, ready to go off on the other man, but her voice died in her throat. She had never seen him like this; his head hung in defeat as he knelt next to Sasuke's lifeless body, his bloodied hands trembling as he fisted the fabric at his thighs. His silver locks shielded his one uncovered eye from view and every muscle was tense and shaking. He took a deep breath before he spoke again, a little less sure this time. "We all failed him. But we can't focus on that right now." He looked up, his gaze hard and unreadable. "We should get him home." 


	2. Coping

“You wanted to see me, Hokage-sama?”

She could see the hurt in Naruto’s eyes as he looked up from whatever document he was scouring. “Sakura-chan, come on. I’m more than that to you.” Her features stayed schooled, and he slammed a hand on the desk in frustration. “Dammit, Sakura, talk to me! It’s been seven months!”

“I have nothing more to say to you, Hokage-sama. I’ve made my feelings clear, as have you.” She stared resolutely out of the window behind him as she spoke. “Why was I summoned?”

Defeated, Naruto’s shoulders sagged as he dug out a folder from the middle of the ever-present pile. “The Kazekage is coming tomorrow and has requested that you be his escort while he’s in the village. I told him you were too busy and too important, but he insisted. I’m sorry I couldn’t—”

“It’s alright. I’ll do it.” Sakura cut him off.

“Will the hospital be alright without you?” 

Sakura wasn’t going to tell him that the hospital had been functioning fine without her for months. The sight of blood made her stomach curl in on itself, and every time she summoned her chakra to heal, it refused to budge. “Yes, it will manage.” Naruto nodded slowly. Sakura remained impassive under his scrutiny. “Is there anything else?”

He looked like he was about to say something else, but chose to refrain. “No. Be here tomorrow morning at 0600.”

“Understood.” With a curt bow, Sakura made her escape. Naruto called after her, but she kept walking. She nodded to Shikamaru as she passed him in the hall, but offered no other form of acknowledgement as she exited the building. 

It was so hard to look at him. She didn’t see the friend she used to know anymore. She saw someone who betrayed his own heart. 

After six years of rehabilitation, Sasuke was placed back on active duty. It took a lot of poking and prodding, but he allowed himself to have a life again, outside of the avenger he groomed himself to be. And though they both knew they could never be together in that way, Sasuke and Sakura grew closer. They talked about the war, about his brother and his family when he could bear it, about the dark secrets he had learned about the village and how much he wanted things to change. She guarded his secrets, just happy that he trusted her. He let his old team be there for him, and for once, they were all happy. And Naruto let that die.

Her mind flew back to that mission. They must have been watching them, targeting him. There was no other way. She calculated and recalculated each moment, trying to figure out what went wrong. They were the pupils of the Legendary Sannin. They had let their guard down, but that shouldn’t have been an issue. But it was. And they lost.

“How’d your meeting with Naruto go?” A voice startled Sakura out of her brooding. She hadn’t even realized where she was going, but apparently she was there, standing on Kakashi’s doorstep. He stared down with her with one skeptical eye for a moment before stepping aside. “Did you want to come in? I started some tea a minute ago.”

_ No.  _

It was a bad idea, going in there, but her feet propelled her forward anyways. She brushed past him, down the hallway to his tiny kitchen. He followed her silently, waiting until she was settled into a chair before leaning on the counter across the room, next to the heating kettle. Crossing both his arms and his legs, he continued to scrutinize her. “What do you need, Sakura? I assume it’s not to talk, because you’re not even doing that.”

_ You know what I need. _

She hated herself for coming here. She hated that he always indulged her, because it was wrong on so many levels, but neither of them had the heart to stop. 

Sakura watched blankly as Kakashi switched off the burner and walked towards her. Lowering himself into the chair adjacent, he grabbed her chin gently and forced her eyes to meet his. “Hey. Tell me what you need.”

“To forget.”

He nodded slowly before leaning forward to press his masked lips to hers, but she stopped him. 

“You know the rules. Don’t make this more than it is.” 

Sakura thought she saw a flash of hurt in my grey eye, but it was gone as he pulled down his mask and pressed his lips against her neck. She gasped as he sunk sharp canines into her flesh, just enough to sting, to drag her out of her thoughts and into this moment. 

It was the only thing that could overpower their grief. Kakashi pulled her towards himself by the wrist until she was settled in his lap. She stared at the ceiling with glazed eyes as she leaned back against the edge of the table, waiting to the sensations she needed to take over.

He pulled the zipper of her qipao down slowly, following its path with his tongue. When he couldn’t reach any more, he retraced his steps to her collarbone, sucking harshly. Her fingers found their way into his hair, her eyes slipping closed as she pulled him closer. Tired of the contortion, Kakashi stood, setting her on the dining room table before tugging off his shirt. 

Sakura paused, her shirt halfway down and stuck at her elbows. “We shouldn’t be doing this…”

Kakashi reached around to pull the red fabric the rest of the way off before tugging at the knot on her bindings. “Say you want me to stop.” 

She couldn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about revamping this story, but I simply don't have the time right now. Maybe somewhere in the future.... As always, thanks for reading~~ (I'm still on [tumblr](https://the-copy-mistress.tumblr.com/) by the way!)


	3. The Sand Siblings

The Kazekage was nothing like she remembered him. Though he came often for diplomatic reasons, Sakura hadn’t come across him in about five years. If Suna ever needed her expertise, Temari was her usual correspondent. He stood imposingly across from Naruto, arms crossed against his lean chest. They were almost the same height now, Sakura noted.

Like the other modern Kage, he had forsaken the stuffy white robes for his own style. His deep red shirt was sleeveless and open at the sides to reveal mesh under armor. He had abandoned the regulation kunai holster on his black pants, but he had always preferred the enormous gourd of sand on his back anyway. In an attempt to tame the wild mane of red hair, he pulled back the sides into a small ponytail at the back of his head, leaving the top loose.

“Kazekage-sama,” Sakura greeted as she bowed to him. “It’s good to see you again.”

He nodded back to her. “And you as well. It’s been quite some time. Are you well?”

Sakura felt Naruto’s eyes boring into her from the side. She forced a small smile. “It’s been a hard couple months, but it’s getting better.”

Gaara’s brows furrowed, as if unsatisfied with her answer. “Yes, I heard about the Uchiha. My deepest condolences.”

“Thank you, that means a lot.” She sighed, dusting at her pants quickly before looking between him and Naruto. “Well, I assume you’re busy right now, so just let me know if you need anything. I’ll be just outside.”

Sakura exited the room and lowered herself into one of the chairs along the hallway. She made small talk with the chuunin on desk duty, but it all seemed to go in one ear and out the other. 

“Yo.” She turned to see Kakashi standing over, a polite smile in his eye. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” she replied. It wasn’t a total lie. “You?”

“I had a pleasant evening. I was just summoned though, so…” He motioned to the door of Naruto’s office with his thumb.

“Of course. Don’t let me keep you.”

She watched curiously as Kakashi walked across the hall and knocked before turning the handle and entering.

“Kakashi-sensei! I was just telling Gaara how—” Naruto’s sentence cut off as the door shut, and she was left alone once again.  

_ He sounds worried. _

Sakura leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, hoping to catch a few more moments of sleep before she was stuck with the Kazekage all day. She mulled over the ever growing pile of paperwork on her desk in the hospital, prioritizing what she could remember off the top of her head. 

The sound of the office door opening had Sakura opening her eyes about half an hour later. Kakashi emerged, but he didn’t so much as glance at her before he stalked away with his hands shoved in his pockets. Sakura stood as Gaara and Naruto walked out after, their faces betraying nothing of the conversation inside. Temari and Kankuro squeezed out after them, whispering conspiratorially to each other. 

“Sakura will show you to your rooms. If you need anything, just let her know.” Naruto nodded to her before slipping back into his office without another word. Confused, she settled with ushering the Kazekage and his siblings out of the Hokage Tower and towards the diplomatic quarters. 

Giving them the top floor, she bowed politely to the trio. “I apologize for not being able to greet you all properly before. It’s good to have you here again.”

“Come on, Sakura-san. We know each other a little better than that by now.” Temari grinned at her as she stepped forward to envelope her in a hug. Lowering her voice, she whispered into Sakura’s ear. “Let’s talk later. Just you and me.” 

Sakura nodded, touched by the other woman’s affection before pulling away. Kankuro was just behind his sister, taking his turn to hug Sakura warmly. Only Gaara kept his distance, watching the exchange curiously. 

“Are you all hungry? We can go eat.”

Temari and Kankuro exchanged a strange look. 

“I’m going to see Shikamaru.” Temari scratched the back of her neck, smiling sheepishly.

“Oh. Okay, well, have fun.” She didn’t know that was still going on, but she was happy for them.

“Sorry, Sakura-san, I heard about this new numbing poison on our way in through the village and I wanted to go hunt it down.” 

Sakura couldn’t help but smile, shaking her head in mock disappointment. Being around the Sand Siblings was turning out to be a refreshing experience. “Alright, not only as your escort but as a medic, I’m going to have to ask you to please not test it on yourself this time.”

Kankuro let out a bellowing laugh in response as he walked towards the stairwell. Temari just shrugged and followed him out. Sakura waved to their backs before turning to Gaara. “I hope you don’t mind that it’s just me?”

He smiled kindly at her. “Of course not.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you always for reading!! <3


	4. Misstep

Though she couldn’t quite pinpoint why, Sakura felt uneasy. Gaara’s mood had changed since they were left alone. The walk to lunch was silent; he walked beside her, but they might as well have both been alone. 

Lunch was equally as strange, the pair sitting side by side in the tiny Ichiraku stand with little to no conversation. Afterwards, Gaara asked Sakura if she would accompany him on a walk around the village. She desperately wished to decline, but duty is duty, so she accepted with a smile. 

She walked slightly behind the Kazekage, studying him out of the corner of her eye. He’d grown significantly since the war, filling out in both height and muscle. 

“Would you like to spar?” 

Sakura misstepped and stumbled, suddenly grateful she had chosen to let him go ahead. 

“I don’t know if that’s appropriate, Kazekage-sama.”

Gaara laughed shortly. “Everyone seems to share the same opinion.”

There was a sadness in his voice that Sakura was quite familiar with. After he became Hokage, the only one willing to spar with Naruto was Sasuke, and herself when she found the time. She expected it was a similar situation for the man before her.

“I just mean… Well, it wouldn’t do well to have two ninja from supposedly allied villages fighting, now would it?”

_ Oh gods, someone help me. That was the lamest excuse ever, Sakura. _

Someone had heard her prayer apparently. Kankuro appeared down the road, a paper bag in his arms and his scrolls still strapped on his back. He paused in his trek when he spotted them, raising a hand to wave before jogging over.

“Hey! Wanna test out my new poisons?” 

Sakura shot him a deadpan look. “Absolutely not! One, you’re wasting perfectly good toxins that should be saved for when you actually need them. And two— No, Kankuro-san, don’t interrupt me! Two, what if by some miracle you happen to hit one of us? What then? You’re going to go to jail for treason against your brother,  _ the Kazekage _ , or for attacking an ally in a— What’s so funny?”

Kankuro was snickering, a palm pressed over his mouth to keep quiet while Gaara was simply staring at her, amusement shining in his pale eyes. One side of his mouth quirked upwards in a smirk and he turned back to his brother.

“Sure. Let’s go.” 

“Kazekage-sama!”

“Come, Sakura-san. As my assigned escort, it would unfortunate should you lose your charge.” He began walking away towards the training grounds. Sakura rushed to follow the pair.

On the way, Kankuro explained the nuances of the poison he had acquired, reaching into the bag to pull out two vials, one filled with a clear, thin liquid while the other was a viscous purple. He tucked the purple vial into his palm while he held up the colorless vial between two fingers.

“Colorless and odorless! The enemy won’t even know what hit them until it’s too late.” He grinned to himself. “And the antidote is right here, don’t worry your pretty little head, Sakura-san.”

That did nothing to ease the worry. Playing with poisons never turned out well for anyone. “With all due respect, Kankuro-san… You’re an idiot.” 

The painted jounin gasped and clutched his chest. “I’m deeply wounded by that statement.”

“Sure you are.” 

They weren’t far from the training ground 5, and Sakura opened the gate, leading the two men inside and flipping the sign to occupied. 

“Well, might as well get this over with.” She ran a finger under the top of her shin guard, adjusting it against her skin. She saw Gaara pull the cork from his gourd, the sand pouring out and flowing around him like water. He kept his arms crossed as the stream slithered underneath his feet, lifting him so he hovered on a platform.

Kankuro sat under a tree, his puppets already summoned. He dipped various needles and spikes into the poisons he had just acquired. “I have to let these dry! You go ahead and start!”

Sakura heard the soft  _ hiss _ of Gaara’s churning sand come closer until he was floating right in front of her. “Please, Sakura-san. Indulge a friend?”

_ A friend.  _

Truthfully, she had never thought of Gaara that way. He was the Kazekage. Their interactions were minimal at best. She had saved his life, his brother’s life, but wasn’t she just doing her duty as a medic? Their villages were allies, it was in everyone’s best interest if the royal family of the Sand stayed alive… 

But he reminded her so much of Naruto. Not the new Naruto, the one she couldn’t even look in the eye. Not even the old Naruto, brash and reckless and in constant need of everyone’s attention. 

He reminded her of the Naruto that would do everything to hide his loneliness, but at the end of the day, the smile still didn’t quite reach his eyes. The Naruto that forgave the world even when it tried to destroy him. If he thought of her as a friend, who was she to say otherwise?

Finally conceding, Sakura wove a few hand signs before placing her palms flat on the ground. “If you insist, Kazekage-sama. Though, I’m afraid ninjutsu has never been my strong suit.” 

She grinned mischievously up at him as the ground started to rumble. She saw Gaara’s widen slightly as a pillar of earth shot up, launching through his platform and raising him skyward. He lost his balance and fell, his sand catching him before he hit the ground.

Sakura stood, flash-stepping into his platform and aiming a punch at his gut, but his Ultimate Defense was faster than ever, and it blocked every hit. When she finally stopped and looked down, Gaara had widened the area they were standing on. 

She started when he smiled widely at her, a quiet chuckle brewing in his broad chest. It was different than before. The first time she had seen him smile like that, he had lost control and she was about to die at his hand. But now the murderous intent was gone and he looked genuinely amused by her efforts. 

“Yes, I realize now that our fighting styles aren’t very compatible. My sand acts on its own sometimes, but I will try my best to hold it back.”

Sakura dropped her defensive stance, confused. Hold it back? Why? 

He stepped forward, and suddenly he was behind her, swinging towards her head. In her surprise, she almost forgot to dodge, dropping and swept a leg under, but his reaction times were impeccable. She saw a couple grains up sand shoot up from the platform around her leg, but for the most part, left her alone.

“And when did you start learning taijutsu, Gaara-sama?” She asked as she retreated from close combat. “I can’t say it’s not useful, but with jutsu of your caliber?”

He charged towards her, continuing the conversation as they danced together, taking turns on offense and defense. “Well, I’m the Kazekage. Should I not be well-rounded?” 

“No, of course you should, but—” Sakura grabbed his arm to stop his momentum, and she couldn’t help but zone in on his bicep as he fought her abnormally strong grip.

_ Well-rounded indeed…  _

“My siblings and I are all long-range fighters, Sakura-san.” His knee shot up, and Sakura pushed away again. “We all figured it was time to expand our horizons.”

“Did something happen?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well—” She shot towards him. “You’re all extremely skilled, but you were also comfortable. I didn’t think you would second guess your techniques unless you were compromised.”

“...That’s a story for another time.” He dodged her fist, narrowly escaping a chakra-enforced blow to his ribs. He twisted and grabbed her around the waist, pinning her arms to her sides.

“Yes, Kazekage-sama. Of course. It’s not my place to question you.” 

Her statement made Gaara cease his assault. He let her go and she felt the sand fall away beneath their feet. They fell to the ground, and by the time Sakura had regained her bearings, he was popping the cork back into its place.

“Kazekage-sama?” She cocked her head to the side. Was it something she said?

“Forgive me, I remembered I had a previous engagement. I believe it’s within my right to dismiss you now, Sakura-san. I’ll be alright.” Gaara motioned to Kankuro, who rolled his eyes and packed up his puppets. As he passed Sakura, he threw her a sympathetic look before hurrying after his little brother.


	5. The Agreement

The rest of the Suna visit was equally as unnerving as the first day they arrived. Sakura spent much of her time with the siblings, but never again alone with the Kazekage. Either Kankuro or Temari or at times, both of them were always around to (attempt to) ease any sort of tension that should arise.

Sakura noticed something strange though. Though they were present, everything was more… For lack of a better term, more Gaara. They deferred to him for everything, from the lunch choice, to his thoughts of the clouds in the sky. It was perplexing… Until the very last day.

The older two Sand siblings were noticeably absent, Temari rushing off to say her goodbyes to Shikamaru, while Kankuro mumbled something about souvenirs before rushing out the door. That left Sakura to walk Gaara alone to the gates as they waited for his siblings to catch up and Naruto to see them off.

“Sakura-san.” Gaara’s deep voice cut the silence between them.

“Yes, Kazekage-sama?” She turned to face him, her hands clasped together behind her back. Startled by the look of pain on his face, she reached towards him. “Are you alright? Are you feeling well?”

He held up a hand to stop her. “Please… Call me Gaara.”

“Gaara-sama…” He shook his head. “Gaara-san… Why?”

They began walking again, side by side. It took a moment before “Because what I’m about to say should be shared between two equals, not a world leader and a diplomat.”

“I’m all ears, Ka— Gaara-san.”

He took a deep breath before continuing. “Please hear me out before you answer me.” Their walk had slowed to a crawling pace as they continued on their way. “I requested you specifically this past week because… I wanted to get to know you better.”

_Get to know me better? Why?_

“I am compelled to apologize for my actions during my youth. Even though I was not myself, I still feel remorse and regret over them every day. Our first meeting wasn’t ideal… And neither was our second. I never thanked you properly for helping Chiyo-sama save my life. And I never thanked you at all for saving my brother’s. Temari told me what happened. We are indebted to you.”

“Oh, no, Gaara-san, I was just doing—”

“—your duty as a medical ninja, yes. That doesn’t mean we cannot thank you, that we cannot owe you our lives. Please, accept this gratitude.”

Sakura nodded stiffly. This was the most Gaara had spoken to her all week, and frankly, it set her on edge.

They were quiet until they reached the gates, and Sakura steered them to the far left side of the opening, away from the gossip-hungry ears of Kotetsu and Izumo. Stuck on gate duty again, they waved at Sakura as they passed before settling back into their bored hunches.

Gaara spoke quietly when he continued. “During the war, I couldn’t help but admire your tenacity, as well as your commitment to Naruto. You truly believed in him.”

_That’s right, he was there. He helped us._

There were times, the quiet in the middle of the night where she woke in a cold sweat, her hands still pumping Naruto’s heart, her breath still filling his lungs. No part of that war was pleasant. But they lived on.

Perhaps she was too caught up with her own team to realize how much of a key player Gaara was during those four days. He led his own platoon, defeated his enemies, aided Naruto in his own battles. He didn’t rest or waver until they had won, and Sakura felt a sudden rush of admiration for the man before her.

“Yes, I did.” Not anymore. “He was the key to our success. Part of me feels as if that battle was predestined. You believed in him too, didn’t you?”

“I did. I still do. Naruto has always strived towards a better world, hasn’t he?”

Sakura hummed in agreement.

“Sakura-san, this isn’t about Naruto… Seeing you, out there, it inspired something in me, and… And I’d like to ask for your hand, if you’ll have me.”

_Her hand? Marriage?_

“I… I’m sorry, Gaara-san. I don’t understand.”

“I know it must come as a shock to you. We don’t know each other very well. But I’d like to. I’m not asking for an answer right away. I prefer it if you thought it over and were sure. You are an accomplished woman, and I understand that you have built your life here. However, this idea has been plaguing me for years, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t at least try.”

“Gaara-san…” She truly had no words. The shock was overwhelming.

“I will be back next month for the Five Kage Summit. I have enjoyed and appreciated the time we’ve spent together. And though I understand if you say no, I wholeheartedly wish for you to accept.”

His eyes flickered over her shoulder, and Sakura turned to see Naruto and the older two Sand Siblings approaching. Temari walked hand-in-hand with Shikamaru while Kankuro spoke heatedly with the Hokage. Gaara strolled towards them, arms crossed.

“Ready?”

His siblings nodded and took their places, flanking him on either side.

“Well,” Kankuro sighed. “It’s been fun, everyone. Stay groovy.”

“Stay groovy? What does that even mean?” Temari gave Kankuro a weird look before turning to the Konoha nin with a kind smile. “We thank you for your hospitality, as always.”

“Of course! We wish you a safe journey home.” Naruto grinned and extended a hand to Gaara, who took it with a small smile. “See you next month!”

“Yes, next month.” He gave Sakura a pointed look, who blushed under his gaze.

_Wow, bashful all of a sudden? Really, Sakura?_

Sakura bowed to the Sand nin and waved as they walked out of the gates. Only when they were a safe distance away did she drop her hand. Shikamaru yawned, muttering something about a nap before walking away.

“So…” Naruto started.

“Did you know he would ask me?”

“Sakura, I—”

“Did. You. Know.” Sakura was not in the mood for games anymore. How dare he keep such a thing from her.

Naruto sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Yes. I knew. He asked me not to tell you. Wanted to ask you himself.”

“A month is not long enough to train a new head of hospital, Naruto.”

He sputtered. “What? You’re not actually marrying him!”

Sakura turned to him then, rage in her eyes. “I’m seriously considering it. And since when did you have jurisdiction over my love life? Stay out of this. It’s none of your business.” She started to storm away, but Naruto caught her wrist, catching her hand when she threw a punch at him.

“I respect the hell out of you, Sakura-chan. I love you like a sister, even when you’ve been nothing but cold to me since Sasuke died. But as your Hokage, you are my ninja. When you are considering leaving the village, that is my business. Forgive me for pulling rank, but if you think I’m going to just let you walk away, you thought wrong.”

Sakura’s blood was boiling, but she could say nothing. Her tongue caught in her throat. He had never held his authority over her before.

“I value your happiness more than anything. You know I do. It’s why I’ve left you alone for so long, so you could heal and be happy again. This is a matter of national security though. See me in my office later. I have to go.” With that, Naruto let go of her hand. With a flourish of his cloak, he flash-stepped away.


	6. Running

It took another week before Kakashi came to her. He sauntered into her office as she looked through her most recent case files.

“Can I help you?” Sakura didn’t look up at him. It was rare to see him outside of one of their bedrooms nowadays.

“I haven’t seen you in a while. Thought I’d check in.” Lowering himself onto the couch along the far wall, Kakashi pulled his little orange book from his back pouch. A layer of protection.

“I’ve been a little busy, Kakashi. But you knew that, didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry?”

Sakura sighed and put down her pen, rubbing at her temples. “That’s why you were so angry that day. You knew the Kazekage wanted to marry me.”

“I did.” He flipped a page, but she knew he wasn’t reading.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“To you? Not my place. To him? I did.”

“What? What did you say to him?”

“The truth. That I didn’t think you two would be a good match and to find a wife in his own fucking village.”

“Kakashi!”

She flinched as he threw the book in his hand across the room, leaning forward on his knees to fix a cold grey eye on her. “He is the Kazekage, Sakura! And he wants to marry an outsider? How do you think that would look to his council, to his village? See reason. Not only do you not know him, not only did he try to  _kill_ you, but marrying you would fare horribly. For both of you.”

“That was so long in the past! He wasn’t himself! You know that! That evil bijuu inside him made him act like that, he couldn’t control it! Besides, that was 15 years ago, and everyone has seemed to let go except you!” Sakura stood abruptly from her desk, coming around to stand over him. “The Kazekage is a good man, and if he wants to marry someone from another village, that’s his prerogative!”

Kakashi rose then, a full head over her as he bore down his wrath. She couldn’t look him in the eye. He’d never been this angry with her before. Her voice was quiet as she pleaded, “Don’t look down on me. You know how much I hate that.”

He didn’t budge. “Why do you think I was called in there, Sakura?”

She couldn’t answer him. He made her feel so small sometimes.

“Naruto asked me to talk to the Kazekage because he and I? We’re your team. We know you better than anyone, and with you shutting out Naruto like you have been, I am the only one left that knows you.” His voice was hardly above a whisper, but the silky undertones held incomprehensible rage. Slowly, he lifted his hand, tipping her chin up with a finger. “And you know what I think?”

His face moved closer, their lips just a breath apart.

“I think you’re a coward. This running away to Suna business? You’re running from Naruto, who you blame for Sasuke’s death. You’re running from me, from your guilt. You enjoy what we do together and you can’t stand that. You can leave this village, Sakura. Run all you want. But until you realize that there is no one else to blame for your misery but yourself, you’ll never be happy. Take it from someone who knows.”

With that, he pulled away and walked towards the door, leaving her shaking and weak. She couldn’t even cry. His words cut her down to the 13-year-old she had thought she left behind. But even a younger version of herself wouldn’t do what she was doing now. At least she had some fight back then.

“And Sakura,” Kakashi called, a hand on the knob. “When you realize what you’ve done, don’t come calling. I’m done being your scapegoat.”


	7. Resign

It wasn’t 24 hours before an ANBU agent was perched on the windowsill of her office.

“The Hokage wishes to see you, Sakura-sama.”

Her pen continued to scratch across page after page of notes. “Tell him I’m busy.”

“He insisted force, if necessary, Sakura-sama.”

“Do you really think you could force me to go anywhere, Tatsu?” Her hand slammed onto the table for emphasis, a crack splintering through the top. She was tired of Naruto pulling rank on her. “The Hokage can suck it for all I care.”

She watched Tatsu step warily into the room before removing his mask. “Come on, Sakura-nee. Don’t make me do this. I know you and Naruto-niichan have been fighting, but I’m just a messenger.”

“And I’m telling you,  _the messenger_ , to take a message back to the Hokage. Fuck. Off. I’m tired of him bothering me, Konohamaru.”

The ANBU gave her a concerned look, but refused to push the matter any further. “Understood.” He was gone before the word was finished.

Only to return with three other agents.

“Seriously?!”

“Just come, Sakura-sama. It’ll make all of our lives easier.”

Sakura threw a stapler at the four, not expecting to hit any of them anyways before grumbling, “Fine. I’ll be there. But no escorts. Give me half an hour. If I sense any of you around, you’ll regret it.”

“Yes, Sakura-sama.”

“Thank you, Sakura-sama.”

When they took their leave, Sakura sighed heavily before grabbing her coat and heading out of her office. She notified her nurses she was stepping out and exited the hospital. Being in no hurry whatsoever, the medic took the longest way she knew, weaving through random streets in the civilian sector before popping out at the base of the Hokage Tower. At the 29th minute and 43rd second, Sakura rapped on the door of Naruto’s office.

“Enter!” He called.

She opened the door and slipped inside, letting it shut behind her without pretense. Not even looking up, he continued to scan the document in front him as he said, “If you don’t want to act like my friend, then I won’t treat you like one, Sakura. I told you to come see me last week and you disobeyed a direct order from your Hokage. If I thought you cared, I’d charge you with insubordination and demote you.”

He finally set an icy glare on her. “Frankly, you’re too important to this village for me to do anything of the sort. And you’re too important to leave. I cannot allow whatever courtship Gaara has offered you.”

“What the hell, Naruto? That’s not fair!” Her escape was slipping away before her very eyes. Maybe she didn’t love Gaara. She wasn’t even sure if she trusted him yet, let alone liked him as anything more than a friend. But he was her ticket. Fuck Kakashi. Fuck Naruto. She needed this. “Just because you’re the Hokage doesn’t mean you get to tell everyone what to do with their personal lives!”

She started as Naruto stood abruptly from his desk. “You don’t get to speak to me that way! Not anymore! I’m sick of this!”

Sakura’s next argument died in her throat, eyes wide at his outburst. Naruto had never snapped at her like that.

“I’ve put up with your attitude for too long! I get it, I fucking killed Sasuke! And I’ve apologized over and over and  _over and over_  again! You aren’t the only one suffering here, so stop acting like you’re the only one that hurts, like you’re the only one who gets to regret that day for the rest of your goddamn life!”

He grew louder, twisting the knife deeper and deeper, practically screaming himself hoarse by the time he was done. His eyes were wild, flickering back and forth between blue and red. Sakura said nothing, head hung low. She was shaking, but she didn’t know why. Rage, shame, grief— she felt it all. It was too much.

She didn’t realize how much chakra she had built into her fists until the ANBU stood, shielding the two legendary shinobi from each other. Two were facing Sakura, holding out their arms tentatively towards her. Another pair did the same to Naruto.

“Sakura-sama, step back. Please.”

“Hokage-sama, you have to calm down.”

Their voices, soothing as they were, did nothing for Sakura’s nerves. She forced herself to breathe, schooling one of her breaths with three of Naruto’s short huffs. He was struggling against Kurama, the bijuu having gone blind with rage inside him.

_Iiiiiiin… (huff, huff, huff)_

_Ooouuut… (huff, huff, huff)_

_Again. Again._

After what seemed like an eternity, his breathing slowed and Naruto slumped into his chair.

“I’m fine, Karasu. All of you, leave us.”

“Hokage-sama, I don’t think—”

_“Leave.”_

“…Yes, Hokage-sama.”

The agents melted into the floors, the ceiling, leaving Naruto and Sakura in suffocating silence.

“Do what you wish, Sakura.”

Sakura’s head shot up. “No, Naruto, I—”

He interrupted her, holding up a hand but still refusing to look at her. “Before I change my mind. If this is what you need, then take it. It’s clear we’re not enough for you here.”

She didn’t have the strength to deny the truth in that statement. They weren’t enough. Konoha wasn’t enough.

“However, this village will always be your home. So if you ever need it… Well, it’s my job to keep it safe for you.”

Sakura nodded slowly, mulling over his words. “…Thank you.”

And she was free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're almost at the place where I had stopped previously. What's gonna happen is that I'm going to finish Queen's Role, then one more chapter of this before it goes on hiatus so I can pay a little attention to my older WIPs. Forgive me for jumping around, I'm just pretty determined to finish some stuff in this upcoming year. Thanks for sticking with me, folks! And thank you for reading! Catch me on Tumblr for updates and fun!


	8. Moving On

She met him at the gates with Naruto, Shikamaru, and Kakashi. She chanced a glance over to her former sensei, but he didn’t even acknowledge her presence, using the other two as a buffer between them.

As the Sand siblings approached, Naruto met them under the village arts, whispering conspiratorially to Gaara. The Kazekage’s flashed from Kakashi to Sakura and back before nodding minutely and leaning away. Kankuro and Temari followed in their usual spots, flanking Gaara on both sides. They fell back, letting Naruto and Gaara walk back side by side to the rest of the company.

Gaara shook hands with Shikamaru first, then Kakashi. They stared at each other with unreadable expressions for a moment before releasing letting go. Gaara then moved to Sakura, but he didn’t offer his hand right away.

 _Yes_ , her eyes pleaded.  _Whatever you want. Just get me out of this place._

She hoped the message was as clear as she was screaming it in her head.

His ice blue eyes flickered back and forth between her own before holding out his hand. She placed her palm on it and watched as he lifted it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her hand. A blush bloomed across her face as he smirked up at her. The dark circles around his eyes made his gaze all the more enchanting, and Sakura hadn’t even realized they’d been staring at each other for so long until someone (Shikamaru, she thought) cleared his throat awkwardly. Gaara released her hand and she tucked it away behind her back, the place where his lips touched radiating with warmth.

Gaara moved next to Naruto, and his siblings joined the line as they waited for the other Kages and their escorts to arrive.

“Hey, you.”

Kankuro sauntered over to Sakura and threw an arm over her shoulders. Sakura gave him a short laugh, wrapping her own arm around his waist in a side hug. “Good to see you again, Kankuro-san.”

“Drop the honorifics, Sakura. We’re gonna be family.” He murmured into her ear. He grinned at her, squeezing her for a moment before letting go.

Sakura let out a shaky laugh beside him. “It’s just a courtship, Kankuro. Nothing guaranteed yet.”

“Yeah, well, I hope you change your mind soon. I like you, and I think you and Gaara would be good for each other.”

She felt her cheeks grow warm at his confession, but at the same time couldn’t help dark festering of apprehension that clawed at her stomach. What could Gaara possibly have to gain with her as a wife? Gods, Kakashi was right. She was an outsider. The council would look down on him, she’d feel as out of place in Suna as she did here, she’d have no allies if the elders decided they wanted to take her down, and—

“Sakura.”

The voice that called her name was familiar, the lack of honorifics was not. She whipped her head to see Gaara and Naruto staring at her, puzzled expressions on their faces. She looked down, realizing that her hands had started to shake, her breathing slightly erratic.

“I’m fine. Sorry.”

Turning her attention back to the gates, she saw the Raikage approaching from afar. Kakashi raised a hand and waved at him, walking forward to approach instead of Naruto. The two shook hands and exchanged pleasantries as Shikamaru, who was standing to her other side leaned towards her and whispered, “Did you hear? Kakashi-sensei is related to the Raikage. Half brothers apparently.”

Sakura’s eyes shot back to the two men, studying them intensely. Brothers? How? Why didn’t he tell her?

_I suppose the similarities are there… Their eyes, hair, even posture and vocal patterns…_

She shook her head, clearing away the storming thoughts. No. She never pretended to have any claim to Kakashi. His business was never hers.

The Tsuchikage came into view a couple minutes later, and the Mizukage was the last to arrive, his subordinates trailing behind him. With everyone finally there, they took the long way back to the Hokage Tower, taking in the sites and sounds of the village along the way. Sakura walked in the back of the company, as far away from Naruto and Kakashi as she could be.

Though Naruto had agreed to let her move out of Konoha, he was still highly unhappy with her. She couldn’t stand to be near him for too long, the tension rolling off of him in waves. Kakashi hadn’t spoken to her since that day at the hospital, and though it stung, she figured that was for the best.

Sakura looked up to see Gaara slowing his pace, allowing the others to pass until he was walking beside her. He looked towards the sky, seemingly entranced by the vibrant blue above them.

“Days like these are rare in Sunagakure.” He mused.

“Yes, I supposed it’ll be one of the things I miss about Konoha.” She replied, sighing wistfully. The wind blowing through the leaves, the birds singing all day as they flew overhead. Konoha was full of life. It was just her heart that felt dead nowadays.

“You’ve made a decision?” His tone was cautious, as if pushing her in one direction or another would scare her off.

Sakura turned her face to him, smiling assuringly. "Yes, I think… I think I’d like to try. A courtship, that is.”

Gaara’s looked as if he didn’t quite believe her reply. “You’re sure?”

“Quite sure, Gaara-san.”

He exhaled, looking rather relieved before giving her a small smile. “I’m glad. I am under no delusions that you have any feelings for me, but I hope that we may grow together with time. I like you, Sakura… And I thank you for giving me this chance.”

Sakura didn’t really know what to say to that, but he seemed content with the sunny grin she gave him. They spent the rest of the walk in amicable silence, hovering closely together. When they finally reached the Tower, Sakura volunteered to escort the other ninja to their quarters while the Kages began their discussions. Naruto nodded cession, and with a wave, left with the rest of the group.

After depositing the rest of the delegates at their hotel and pointing them in the directions of various restaurants throughout the village, Sakura made her way to the Memorial Stone, as she often did when she wanted to be alone. She made sure that Kakashi wasn’t there before settling in front of it, legs crossed. She pulled at the grass and sighed.

“Hi. I’m sorry I haven’t visited lately. I’ve been a little busy.” She looked up, honing in on his name with teary eyes.

_Uchiha Sasuke, KIA_

She and the rest of Team Seven had argued for weeks to allow his name to be carved into the monument. The elders were vehemently against it, unwilling to let go of Sasuke’s criminal history, but in the end, Naruto’s vote outweighed them all, and they were given a place to visit and remember him. His body had been too valuable to keep, too chock full of secrets. It was burned and scattered almost immediately after they returned to the village that night.

She told him of everything that had happened in the past month: Gaara’s proposal, her situation with Kakashi, Naruto’s anger, sadness, resignation. How she had been cornered on more than one occasion by Ino and Kiba and even Hinata as to why she would accept a proposal from Gaara, why she was abandoning her home.

“They all expect too much of me, Sasuke.” She laughed shortly. “Remember how I used to complain? How no one took me seriously, and now they can’t let me go. Is it me? Am I just meant to be an unhappy person?”

She knew that was wrong. She was happy, for a time. When he was back, and she and Naruto were on good terms, and Kakashi was nothing more than a friend.

“I miss you… But I need a new start. I’m moving to Suna, so I won’t be able to come and visit you for a long time. I know you’d understand.”

She sat there a few moments longer before standing and heading home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I am (still) on [Tumblr](https://the-copy-mistress.tumblr.com/)! And as always, comments and kudos are super appreciated and feed my starving muse. <3


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